Narcissism: Unravelling the Interplay of Genetics, Upbringing, and Notable Manifestations

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterised by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts. The condition is complex and can significantly affect personal relationships, professional success, and overall well-being. But are narcissists born with these traits, or are they made through upbringing and environment?

Are Narcissists Born or Made?
The development of NPD is influenced by both genetic and environmental factors. Research indicates that narcissistic traits can be inherited, suggesting that certain personality predispositions may be passed down genetically. However, environmental influences—particularly parenting styles, early life experiences, and social conditioning—play a crucial role in shaping these traits into a full-blown disorder.

Parental overindulgence, overprotection, or neglect can all contribute to the development of narcissistic traits. Children who are excessively praised for minor achievements, shielded from failure, or taught that they are superior to others may develop an inflated self-perception that follows them into adulthood. Conversely, children who experience neglect or harsh criticism may develop narcissistic tendencies as a compensatory mechanism, seeking validation and power to mask deep-seated insecurities.

Parental Influence: The Impact of Narcissistic Parents

Growing up with narcissistic parents can significantly shape a child’s development. Children of narcissistic parents may internalise their behaviours, mirroring their superiority complex, entitlement, and emotional detachment. This upbringing can also lead to a distorted sense of self-worth, where love and validation are conditional on success or external achievements rather than intrinsic value.

Some parents may foster an elitist family identity, believing themselves to be superior based on social status, wealth, intelligence, or other arbitrary metrics. Children raised in such an environment may adopt the same belief, even if it lacks substantive foundation. This self-perception can lead to difficulty in forming healthy relationships, as narcissists often struggle with genuine emotional connection and empathy.

It is relatively rare for two narcissists to form a lasting romantic relationship. Narcissists typically seek partners who provide admiration, validation, and reinforcement of their superiority, which is more commonly found in submissive or accommodating individuals rather than in fellow narcissists.

When two narcissists do enter a relationship, conflicts may arise from competition for attention, power struggles, and a lack of mutual emotional support. These relationships can be turbulent, as neither partner is inclined to prioritise the other's needs over their own. However, some narcissists may enter relationships with other narcissists if they see a strategic advantage, such as social status or financial gain.

Case Study: The Impact of Overindulgent Parenting
Consider the case of Alex, a child raised in an environment where his achievements were constantly celebrated, and his failures overlooked. His parents instilled in him the belief that he was exceptional and deserving of special treatment. He was shielded from responsibility and never allowed to fail, as his parents micromanaged his success and validated every action.

As Alex entered adulthood, he developed an inflated sense of self-importance and a deep need for admiration. In relationships, he struggled with criticism and compromise, viewing others as either sources of validation or obstacles to his ego. At work, he sought leadership positions without the effort or accountability required, believing his mere presence should be enough to command respect. His relationships were often manipulative, as he expected others to cater to his needs without reciprocation.

This case illustrates how overindulgent parenting can contribute to narcissistic traits, reinforcing entitlement and a lack of resilience.

How is Narcissism Diagnosed? (DSM-5 Criteria)

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is officially recognised in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition). The DSM-5 criteria for NPD require that an individual exhibit at least five of the following characteristics:

1. Grandiosity – An exaggerated sense of self-importance.
2. Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Belief in being ‘special’ and unique, with a need for high-status associations.
4. Excessive need for admiration from others.
5. Sense of entitlement – Expecting special treatment without earning it.
6. Exploitation of others – Using people for personal gain.
7. Lack of empathy – Inability to recognise or care about others’ feelings.
8. Envy of others or belief that others envy them.
9. Arrogant, haughty behaviour or attitudes.
To be diagnosed with NPD, these traits must cause significant distress or impairment in daily functioning. A clinical psychologist will assess an individual's behaviour through structured interviews, observation, and psychological assessments to determine whether they meet the diagnostic criteria.

How Does Narcissism Affect Relationships?
People in relationships with narcissists—whether romantic, familial, or professional—often experience emotional exhaustion, self-doubt, and psychological distress. Studies suggest that partners of narcissists are at increased risk for:

Anxiety and depression due to manipulation and emotional neglect.
Lowered self-esteem, as they are often made to feel inferior.
Constant stress from walking on eggshells to avoid conflict.
Gaslighting, where they begin to doubt their own reality due to the narcissist's manipulation.
The impact on children of narcissists is particularly severe, as they may struggle with self-worth, boundaries, and forming healthy attachments in adulthood.

Can Narcissism Be Treated?
While NPD is difficult to treat, therapy can help individuals develop healthier behavioural patterns. Psychotherapy (talk therapy) is the primary approach, often focusing on:

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – Helping individuals challenge grandiose beliefs and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Schema Therapy – Addressing deep-seated childhood patterns that fuel narcissistic behaviour.
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) – Teaching emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness.

Progress is often slow, as narcissists may struggle with self-reflection and resistance to change. However, when motivated, some individuals can learn to manage their tendencies and develop healthier relationships.

Seeking Help: Support for Individuals and Families

For individuals with NPD, seeking therapy is a critical step towards understanding their behaviours, developing empathy, and improving their relationships. However, it is often the partners, family members, and colleagues of narcissists who seek help first, as they struggle with the emotional toll of the relationship.

Psychologists can help by:

Teaching assertiveness and boundary-setting.
Helping individuals recognise manipulative patterns.
Offering support groups for people in relationships with narcissists.
Providing family therapy to address dysfunctional dynamics.
For families and partners, support groups such as Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Groups can provide guidance and community.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a complex condition shaped by both genetic and environmental factors, particularly parenting styles and childhood experiences. While the disorder can cause significant distress in relationships, therapy offers a pathway towards understanding, managing symptoms, and fostering healthier interactions.

Both narcissists and those affected by their behaviour can benefit from seeking professional guidance. Understanding the nature of narcissism can be the first step towards healing—for both individuals and the people around them.